What should I do, I don't want a wedding or to be proposed to, but my boyfriend would like to?

Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years and know we're going to stay together and get married eventually. Before I go into this, I just want to say, I am NOT having second thoughts about marrying him or anything like that, that really isn't the issue. Anyway, I'm severely shy and reserved by nature, and I have issues with a wedding and being proposed to. With the proposal, I feel stupid that he should have to propose to me, we've been together for how long, we both already know that we're going to get married, he talks about it quite often, so it's not like I would be shocked or surprised by him proposing. I just feel stupid and awkward, I don't really want him to propose to me, I don't even need a ring or anything, and I kind of made him feel bad by saying this. I also feel that telling anyone that I was engaged is really awkward and intimidating. The second issue, the wedding problem, is that he wants one, I really don't, but I also don't want to just go to the courthouse and sign the papers. I really hate being the center of attention and hate wearing formal attire or what is typically used at a wedding. I used to use money as an excuse not to have one, and though that is true, I just don't want to stand in front of anyone, and I don't know what the problem really is nor how to correct it. I feel really bad, we've been ing heads about this for quite a while, and I don't want to give in and neither does he. I was never one of those girls who fantasized about a wedding or being proposed to. Actually, I thought I would live alone my entire, so I never dreamed I would find anyone and actually even think of marriage. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas as to what we could do. I feel bad for being so miserable lately and I want to have this be something nice for him, I love him so much. Sorry this post was so long. Thanks in advance to those who reply.